Quote of the Week

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...
Showing posts with label Articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Articles. Show all posts

Forgive this post! Happy New Month!

So, I read this post earlier this morning on whatsapp and I thought it wise to share!

My manners!

Let me wish you firstly, a Happy New Month. This month is a big one, I assure you...

Now, let's go to this article. It's on sex,a new dimension though...

Sex is dirty, so they said. So, they turned off all the lights and copulated in thick silence punctuated with barely audible moans and sighs while they secretly acquired stashes of erotic magazines and movies, gawking at images and videos of nude personalities seeming to have the time of their lives.

They told us sex is dirty so we could keep our thighs closed, zips locked, noses turned up in disgust and minds smitten in horror at the mere mention of the word.

That was until we found out somehow that it gives much more pleasure than ten bowls of chocolate ice cream garnished with a variety of nuts and coconut chippings. "Surely, something so thrilling cannot be dirty," we reasoned.

Deeper and deeper we sunk into all kinds of sexual addictions. Our experiments began with stolen kisses that got deeper until we unraveled our clothing and couldn't seem to extricate our limbs from the clutches in which we had been wrapped.

The world around us seemed to shrink in size as we stared at the erotic display of skin, sinews and skills in different sizes, shapes and motions. The more we remembered that our acts were forbidden, the more we were sucked in to the vortex of unending scenes and fantasies. Then, the actors invaded our mobile devices and mailboxes until we began to relish waking up to the bold invitations from "Cutebitch", "HotSandy", "BigZack", etc.

Our guilt deepened as we transited to self-stimulation on days and nights when we were too shy, afraid or depressed to find partners. Then we found our palms reaching to forbidden zones even when we were in public places, among friends, family and/or strangers. It didn't matter anymore. The urge to feel good and better about ourselves was greater than the fear of being caught in public.

On sober days, we wished we could open up to somebody. Not anybody, but someone who cared enough to hear us without condemnation. One who wouldn't heighten our sense of shame by feeding us the lie that sex is dirty because in the throes of passion, it didn't feel dirty. It felt sweet, good, beautiful, exciting, like ice cream, popcorn and a good movie after a stressful day. Like a sizeable mound of swallow and our favourite soup after a particularly difficult test... And that was why we couldn't stop. No matter how much we tried, we just couldn't stop.

Dear young friend, sex is sweet. Even in it's perverse form, it still feels good, very good. I know that it helps you let go of some tension when you feel hurt after being unduly criticized or ignored by those who claim to love you. It's where you run to when you feel like the world has moved on without you and you're stuck in the same spot year after year. It's the balm that soothes you when you are faced with a deep sense of inadequacy. It began with an experiment but is now a consuming addiction because even when your heart says no, your body and your mind say yes.

Now, you have accepted that you like it. You also need to know that it is sacred. It's like that special couch in your sitting room; that one that only your dad was allowed to sit on. Yeah, like that special beer mug that only your dad was allowed to drink from. You watched with longing every time he drank from it. You could feel the liquid slide down your throat whenever he drank from it at dinner. It wasn't dirty, it was sacred.

So, you stole gulps from it whenever you could until... the day it slid from your palms and crashed on the floor. Your crime no longer hidden, you had to face the penalty for crashing your dad's favourite mug. You could have waited till you were grown enough to have your own special mug but your greed was greater than reason.

That same greed is the reason you experiment with sex. Call it curiosity, fun, whatever. Truth remains that instead of sex, you could be playing football, a video game, writing a script, visiting friends, learning to play the guitar or engaging in many other things.

So next time you feel like stealing that sacred gift called sexual pleasure outside the confines of marriage, take a stroll, play a game, talk to someone trustworthy like Matthew Femi Adedoyin, Stella Eyuruntela Ashe, Ajewole Ayodeji or anyone within your circle who understands and won't victimise you. S/he doesn't have to be a pastor to help you get over your addiction but must have a pair of listening ears and a heart that truly cares.

I want to see you on the other side of freedom from sexual perversion. I know you can. I trust you. I love you.

-Ini Akpan

Conformity, Religion and the Growing Child

It was the hour of prayer. I saw muslim brothers and sisters rush for prayers. The males lined into the mosque after the order of ablution and the females from their own end did same.

Minutes into prayer, I saw from the window opening of the mosque, Abubakar. He was a young boy of about seven years, judging from my thoughts. Abubakar had refused to

Is it proper to shake the hands of a lady?

Sensitivity is one basic feature in mixed societies. To the growing individual at the secondary school level or the youth at the tertiary level, a turn down must have occured during occassions where the male prompts a handshake to a female. This, in our society is largely premised on the religious and traditional inclination of the persons in question.

Some cultures govern the idea that men should be not shake hands with women to maintain the masculine status quo. Others restrict the handshakes to daughters below marriageable ages while some are binding, on the female folk to resist any handshake (especially the islamic religious background)

I believe as a person that handshakes are a form of greeting. In formal settings for example, it is the most acceptable form of greeting. Although, it is largely believed that it is a white man's system, adopted after we were willed into existence from Lord Lugard's and Shaw's colonial laboratory of artificial insemination. But then, the question is not the refusal of handshakes but the subsequent embarrassment it carries, especially in public. What way leads out?

The bargain leads that in any formal setting, a business setting for example, it is proper for a lady to shake hands with a man whether it was initiated by him or her. However, if you do not feel comfortable
shaking the hands of a lady, I suggest you should not initiate the handshake. However, you should respond if the lady initiates the handshake to avert any embarrassment that may ensue. Also, if you know
the religious or cultural inclination of the opposite sex by virtue of
prior information or "readable information" (e.g a muslim lady's hijab) at that moment, it is advised you do not initiate the handshake unless she does. Also, the nominal reference such as "Aishat" or names in that order should make you refrain from handshakes unless she initiates it.

There are situations where the male could find substitutes in informal
settings. I personally employ the "chop knuckle" (the exchange of
folded fists by either party) idea in cases like this.

The world is a 21st Century one. We choose to flow with trends or
refuse them. What do you think about the subject of shaking hands?

(Please note that this post is not targeted at any individual or sect- religious or traditional. Any misconception as to nominals is not deliberate.)

This post was first published via
Nondoc Media

Memoir of the Mad

With each passing day, I count my achievements and then give glory to God. 

However, deep inside me, I believe there is much work to do. The future too, seems very uncertain. In the last few weeks, the only solace after providence has been my pen. The words above have thus been inscribed deep in my hearts that I long to read them over and over again. At the moment, I have a piece of paper where it's scribbled and attached to the wall in my room.

At other times, I feel I need to learn arabic or some other strange language so I can write these motivation pieces, for myself alone.
Then, I found her.

I begun to speak to myself. At times, loud enough that my room mates would query my sanity. This language of the mind is a tough one, a battle field of the plus and minuses.

Then I discovered that madness is not the absence of a sound mind, but the business of a sound mind. It is thinking everything first and thinking again, those things you thought earlier, making a perfect dough off the flour.
If you ever thought up anything good and such thing became successful, then, you have been mad.

You could suspect whose write-up this is- Nelson, Bola, Emmanuel or any other team member of this blog.

But then, knowing too is a battle of the mind. So, the day you know who truly wrote this, then, you become a mad man too and you have your lucid period only when in rest- temporarily or permanently.

Signed: Me.

Today is Wednesday!

I know you're surprised that my heading sounds more like I'm giving
you a reminder of what day today is. However, it's deeper than that, a
tougher consequence on our conscience looms around us with each
counting day.

Gradually, the mist that covers our eyes clears off and we approach
the end of this rope. Yesterday seems more like the 1st of January,
2017 and we have a list of the fulfilled and a longer list of the

I vividly recall an article I earlier wrote, welcoming the new year.
It concerned resolutions and I will particularly quote some cuts of
the article here:

"The 'will' factor

I am no psychologist, but my understanding of the operations of the
brain and mind — being basic psycho-agents — places the will as strong
as the brain. At times, it may be stronger. The will remains an
integral part of the mind with some connectivity that bounds the trio
— the mind, the will and the brain.

My further poll to my friends leaves me at the point of choosing my
resolution before backing it with a will for accomplishment. That
could be problematic, as I think I would rather have the will before
setting a resolution.

As a result, I opine thusly: If, at the end of each year having
followed our will strongly, we decide to count our feats, there will
be no cause to leave empty plates at the dinner table, hoping they
will get filled the following year..."

(You may read the full article via this link:
http://nondoc.com/2017/01/03/the-mind-the-will-and-the-brain/ )

As this month rides on to its end, I believe this reminder post should
provoke thought, particularly speeding up the productivity rate in you
in the next few months.

Think Saturday: The Paradox of Time

The paradox of our time is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers.

We have wider motor ways, but narrower view points.

We buy more things yet, we enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families.

We have more conveniences but less time to enjoy them.

We have advanced diplomas, degrees and Education but less common sense.

We have more knowledge, but less sound judgement.

We have more medicine, but less wellbeing.

We have multiplied our possesion but reduced our values.

We have high incomes and social profiles, but lower morals.

We have been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble
crossing the road to meet a new neighbour.

We have conquered outer space, but still find it an adventure to smile
to a stranger.

We have tried to clean the air, but polluted the soul

We have splited the atom but not our prejudices

We have collective wealth and yet, poor individuals abide
We have more free ways but narrower viewpoints

We talk too much, love too seldom and hate too often.

If these odds could connect and these dotted lines join up, then,
society would be better equipped for transformation.

Do not forget The New Man Writing Contest 2017. You can Click here for
further details.

(The Paradox of Time is a Paraphrased Quote of George Carlin)

(The "THINK SATURDAY" is a special series powered by The New Man Movement)

Powered by www.thenewman.org.ng

Life and choices

Life is the period between birth and death. It is a phase of earthly existence.
Choice however, involves decision making. It can include judging the
merits of multiple options and selecting one or more of them. One can
make a choice between imagined options or between real options
followed by the corresponding action. -Wikipedia

Life is governed by choices but sometimes it does not happen that way.
You don't choose your parents and you don't choose death most times.

You can only control what you choose. In the long run, we shape our
lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die and
the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Too often in life, something happens and we blame other people for us
not being happy or satisfied or fulfilled. So the point is, we all
have choices, and we make the choice to accept people or situations or
not to accept situations.
-Tom Brady

Making a choice should be done carefully especially choice over
sensitive issues.

Choices could be right after meeting the right counsellors. We have
the greatest, The Holy Spirit(The Spirit of Jesus). Elders and wise
men also have their place in making right choices.

Araromi Oluwatobi Emmanuel

Boxing the Box

The question, "After Christmas, what's next?" leads us to the twenty sixth of December every year. All around the world, we have the day for the exchange of gifts (boxing day) to be hallowed. In this part of the world, it remains of of our National Holidays.

When Productivity Pays

Kokon is a young lady. She falls in the category of people the world refers to as invalids.

Letters to a Freshman III

Letters to a Freshman III Hello Freshman,
I know my last letter got to you clearly. I saw your comments and feedback and I would work on them. Today however, let me take you through these words:

Child and Punishment: Contrasting Generations.

At times, I wonder why I have issues with this younger generation. Despite these issues, there's a lot of lesson to be learnt from them. A necessary part of society we say, or

Where Responsibility lies

Where Responsibility Lies As I sat from the corner of the hall, I watched this funny scenario. How funny it might be, I handpicked the lessons and decided to relay them to you.

I am a Prodigal by Nelson Vincent Ayomitunde.

I am a Prodigal "You know, I'm a freshman, the only son of my father who is a very wealthy man"

Society and Singles: What do you need?

I have a handful of singles around me- the bachelors and the spinsters. Causing a match between brother A and sister B could

Why reject them?

My grandmother is well over seventy years. Growing up, I had always felt that she should

Youthful Hue: The Camera and right Focus.

There's this female friend of mine who is into some photography class. The other day after her class, I met her with her camera. It was a

Character, The Beauty that lasts

The public relations department of a beauty products company asked its customers to send pictures along with brief letters, describing the most beautiful women they knew. Thousands

Life Zones: The three Cs

For everything a man decides to do in life, there is a kind of ZONING that is involved. ZONING here refers to a condition that could pilot

Getting hooked; the troubles of a Teenager

Getting hooked, the troubles of a Teenager In the latter years of my teenage life, I have discovered that at certain points, I missed it. I had troubled virtually everyone. Teenagers are neither adult nor child and so

Why didn't you tell me?

It was a cool saturday morning in the month of May. Mummy had gone out, everyone at home was busy doing something. My brothers were