Dealing with Social Phobia

Do you avoid certain activities and social occasions because of insecurity? If so, you might have

"Social Phobia," the fear of being inadequate, embarrassed or negatively evaluated. Many persons even experience panic attacks that leave them immobilised to the point of dysfunction. The truth I have discovered after been bound by social insecurity and fear in the past is that our avoidance of such situations rather than facing them that allows our fears to control us. How great our fear becomes depends on what we say to ourselves when it hits. What we say to ourselves in the long run is largely a function of what psychologists call our "sub-personality type". In this post, I'll love to out line some common sub-personality types and the ways to handle them. 1. The Worrier: Persons in this category anticipate the worst. They create grandiose images of potential tragedy and are always hyper-vigilant for any small signs of trouble. Their favourite self-talk expression is "But what if (this evil or that evil happens)." Learn to replace your worrier self-talk with "I can feel anxious and still do it. I do not like it, but I can stand it until it passes." Instead of running from it, choose to face it.

2. The Critic: This is the part of you which constantly judges your behaviour and compares you unfavourably with others. It points out your flaws and reminds you that you are a failure. It's favourite self-talk expressions are "You are stupid; can't you ever get it right? Look how capable so and so is. How come you can't be like them?" While "the worrier" suffers from anxiety, "the critic" suffers from low self-worth. What's the answer? Learn to replace your critic self-talk with, They are what God made them; I'm what God made me, and I accept myself as His unique creation. I make make mistakes but I'm not a mistake.

3. The Victim: is another sub-personality type underlying our fears. It's that part of us which feels helpless and hopeless, believing that we are inherently inadequate and unworthy, sees insurmountable obstacles in our path and bemoans the way things are. It's favourite self-talk expressions include, "I can't... It's useless. I'll never be able to. Why even bother?" You should rather replace your victim self-talk with "I choose to believe I can and I will. I choose to see the glass half-full rather than half-empty."
When we furnish ourselves with these considerations, the social phobia issues would be solved, our inner fears cease and negative evaluation end. The personality and being of man is regained and the fear of immobilisation and dysfunction is murdered. 

(C) 2016 Nelson Vincent Ayomitunde.


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